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Oh, the horror of not having insurance!

Posted On: Oct. 23, 2020 1:03 PM CST

Friday the 13th

Your child gets stuck in a television set and a tree busts through a window to invade your house in an attempt to grab your other child, not to mention a bedroom closet transforms into some slimy portal to hell — all because your home was built on a cemetery and your realtor didn’t tell you.


The question is now: Could insurance make you whole? Maybe.


MSN Money on Thursday published an analysis of old horror films and whether insurance, or other financial protections, could have saved victims. In the case of “Poltergeist,” the news site confirmed whether homeowners insurance would cover possession and destruction of a home. 


“Yes, vandalism caused by uninvited ghosts would typically be covered, if you can provide proof of the damage,” the article states. “And because the real estate developers didn’t disclose that the homes were built on a cemetery, the unlucky homeowners could sue for negligence due to nondisclosure, which would be covered by the developer’s business liability insurance.”


Regarding the vengeful and blood-thirsty Mrs. Vorhees mourning the death of her son Jason, who drowned as a child at Camp Crystal Lake as a plotline of the original “Friday the 13th,” a wrongful death claim against the summer camp’s business liability policy could have curbed her “going mad on camp counselors.”  Or she could have “used her payout money to buy a snazzier sweater for her murder rampage.”


Mentioning another cult classic film, a pet insurance wellness policy could have helped a neighborhood terrorized by a dog named Cujo, who caught rabies before going on a killing spree, as depicted in the film adaptation of Stephen King’s “Cujo.”


“If only this family had kept poor Cujo up to date on his rabies vaccine or kept him from wandering too far from the house. …They’re covered by wellness pet insurance policies, so there’s no excuse not to vaccinate.”


The analysis mentions 10 more less-popular films, and policies such as disability, health and travel insurance that could have helped victims. However, MSM Money says the “bottom line” is that “by horror movie rules, you might not need insurance because you won’t live long enough to make a claim.”