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OFF BEAT: New York man goes big after dog bite on city bus


A New York man with a wounded finger, conspiratorial bent and apparently boundless optimism has sued the City of New York and dozens of alleged co-conspirators for $2 undecillion — that’s 2 followed by 36 zeros — after being bitten by a dog on a city bus.

Lawsuit enthusiast Anton Purisima filed the suit in U.S. District Court in Manhattan in April. The 22-page hand-written complaint alleges Mr. Purisima suffered personal injury, discrimination, retaliation, harassment, fraud, attempted murder and variety of other slights at the hands of a vast cabal of conspirators.

In addition to the city, the suit names the New York City Transit Authority, a “Latina dog owner,” St. Luke’s Hospital, Hoboken University Medical Center and an airport Au Bon Pain store as defendants.

“Defendant Au Bon Pain is responsible as an employer of its individual employees in the alleged store,” the lawsuit states. “The acts of these alleged Au Bon Pain employees were and are in conspiracy with acts to defraud plaintiff Anton Purisima by knowingly over-charging plaintiff of his coffee every time plaintiff buys his alleged coffee in that alleged Au Bon Pain store at LaGuardia Airport in New York.”

While legal theorists are split regarding the merits of Mr. Purisima’s lawsuit, a science blog estimates that the money that Mr. Purisima is asking for exceeds the economic value of all goods and services produced by humanity since we first evolved by orders of magnitude.